I Wonder About My Sanity Sometimes...

So, I got a job...

Everybody Was TANG SOO Fighting...

I tested for my 1st gup, my second blue tip for my blackbelt on Friday. I felt like poo, but here's a small complilation of videos from the hour and half long test (minus some mistakes, sweat, and gagging).

Just a Kiss :)

Some people need to give country a chance :)

I'm so excited for Monday :). James is coming up from Tulsa so I get to spend time with him :). It'll have only been a week since we met when I see him again, but I feel like I've known him for years (in a totally awesome way). I'm really anxious to see how things are now that we actually know how the other one feels, even though when we met we could already tell what the other was thinking :). It's crazy because I've never really talked for long periods of time on the phone and not got bored but him and I just talk and talk and talk and completely lose track of time :). 

Earlier I had a pessimistic moment and I still feel like a douche about it (but James is my awesome Optimism-Reinforcer, so it didn't last long). Not to be cliche (even though this entire situation is pretty cliche and movie-worthy), but it feels too good to be true. Like after all this crap that I've been through, why are things finally turning around?

I've decided to try my hardest not to be a downer anymore. If I worry so much about what could go wrong, how am I going to enjoy what goes right?

Just Keep Swimming :)

I Suck At Blogging (UPDATED)

(This was supposed to post last night but I have no idea why it didn't so I'll just post it now...)

So much for this whole blogging thing, aye? I thought I was going to be able to keep up with it, but I suck at these things.

Since I posted last I got my CNA (definitely not my thing), changed my career choice a hundred times, graduated high school, went to karate camp, went through some shit, turned 18, now here we are...

CNA and nursing definitely won't work for me. Clinicals were disgusting but interesting. I thought I wanted to go into nursing, but medicine really isn't the place for me. I've decided that I'm not going to even worry about deciding what I want until I have to decide. I'm just going to keep an open mind until then. It's like a puzzle. If I find a new piece, or even lose a few, I'm going to have to rearrange the whole thing to find the new picture. So far I have my classes lined up for this year and my dorm and everything, so we'll just see how it all goes.

Graduation was how I expected it to be: too many pictures, a couple tears and a HUGE feeling of relief.

Camp was a really good experience for me (except getting stung by a scorpion). We had the adult camp before all the kids got there, and even in the year between the 2 camps, I can really tell a difference and how much I've grown. When all the kids got there I had a lot more responsibility than I have before as an instructor and role model. I was a D-Group leader and lead 11 other kids/teens. I got baptized, which was a big deal for me. I had never been baptized and was really self conscious about it, but it felt good to stand up in front of so many people and make that decision. 

When I got back, some stuff happened. I've been so incredibly depressed lately, but I'm not going to go into detail :/ Shit happens, but I just had to go through it to get over it I guess. I let myself fall into a hole. I would sleep in incredibly late, sit around, go to karate, stay up incredibly, then get up and do it all over again. I had fallen into a rut, and just felt empty.

On my birthday I didn't want attention or a party or anything, but my sister put one together. I had a decent time with everything that had been happening. The week after that was nothing, but then I went to a concert in Tulsa and met a guy...

I didn't even want to go to the stinkin' concert! But I figured one night out couldn't hurt. As soon as Jared and them were done playing I wanted to leave, until I met him :)

I've been messed with about it taking a guy to put me in a good mood, but I don't really care. :) We hit it off really well, like, what you'd see in the movies, and I'm incredibly excited to see where things go between us :)

(I won't go into any more detail because people don't wanna read about that mushy stuff (; )

It's currently 4 in the morning. I can't wait until I can sleep through the night again. I don't think I'm going to train tomorrow because I got hit pretty hard in the neck last night so I'm in all sorts of pain :/

But I guess since now I'm caught up and I don't feel the need to rant about anything I'll get off here and watch Despicable Me 'til I can hopefully fall asleep. Maybe I'll actually try again with this blogging stuff at some point?

Toodles :)

This is Why I Need a Bedtime...

Love Love Love :)

I'm alive! Just kidding...well, I'm not kidding. I AM alive, but I'm just messing around...Anyways...

Hi! It's been awhile. I don't really feel like posting about anything specific at this point, I just wanna ramble. And stuff's been going good lately and that's got me in a lovey mood, so here you go...

Things I Love:
Karate
Roller coasters
Baking
Karate..oh, wait....
Chickens..wait, not really all that obsessed with chickens...
Being awesome! Except I'm not all that awesome either...
Roadtrips
Italian food
Chickens? Dangit, no! Quit with the chickens!
Laundromats
Stealing soaps and whatnot from hotels and feeling hardcore
Gummy worms (not bears..the bears are gross)
Arcades
Gas station food
Uhm..I still really love karate a lot...
My family
My partner in crime
Air guitar/drum wars
Dancey dancey music
Aviator sunglasses
Cruising with the windows down, listening to dancey dancey music wearing aviator shades
Inside jokes
Home movies
Reading for pleasure (not for school..tell me to do it and I won't enjoy it)
Karate camp (note: I didn't say karate again...this time it's specifically camp)
Dancing around like no one is watching
Uhm...can you tell I'm in a loving mood?
Taking silly pictures
Tropical Sno! I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner!
Singing in the shower
Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Hot in Cleveland, Modern Family, Family Guy, The Nanny
Running around in the house sans-pants
Running around in YOUR house sans-pants! Just kidding, that'd be creepy...
Brisk Lemon Iced Tea
Hammocks
Mario Bros.
Classic Disney movies (Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, etc.)
Typing, at this point in time, as you can tell by my rambling...
Staying up way past my bedtime to post random nonsense because I feel I should since it's been awhile...
Thunder storms
Primping (hair, makeup, actually trying to coordinate an outfit)
Saying "screw primping" (jeans, tshirt, no makeup...that's pretty much an every day thing though...)
My karate belt
Calypso Blue Rasberry Lemonade

And a ton of other things...but at this point I think I'm about to love some sleep, so I'll probably add more to this later :)

I Wish I Could Say Some of These Things to Their Faces...

Dear You,
I saw you today for the first time since before Christmas break. You told me I looked pretty, and that I looked really happy. You have no idea how bummed out I've been lately, or how horrible my day has been, but just that random compliment made me feel so much better :)
Love, Alayna

Dear You,
LEAVE ME ALONE. I'm seriously sick and tired of your bullshit. You treat me HORRIBLE, but the thing is, you act like you're entitled to it! You're the one that did me wrong, so quit whining and pouting that I'm pissed at you. I barely freakin' know you. I used to, but you just made things weird. I would've loved to get to know you better and maybe become better friends, but not anymore. You have no right to go around and act like you do, or disrespect me the way you have. You're blowing up my phone right now, but I'm done with you. Grow a pair, quit whining, and go away. You're lucky someone hasn't whooped your ass yet. Watch it bud, I got plenty of backup.
(Insert more colorful language here)-Alayna

Dear You,
Don't worry. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at something else. I just can't explain what's going on, but I'm taking care of it. Thanks for noticing something's wrong though.
Love, Alayna

Dear You,
I have no idea who you are, but I saw you tonight. You did what I've been wanting to do for a long time. It didn't look so pleasant, so I decided not to. Thank you.
Sincerely, Alayna

Dear You,
You have no idea how much you mean to me. You always have something kind to say, and it always comes at the perfect time. You're kind of fantastic :)
Love, Alayna

Dear You,
I envy you so much it hurts my chest, but I can't tell anybody because they wouldn't understand.
Sincerely, Alayna

Dear You,
I find our whole situation extremely ironic, don't you? Oh well...
Love, Alayna

Dear You,
Watch your back.
-Alayna

Dear You,
I know you've been having a tough time lately, but I know you can get through this. Keep going love :)
Love, Alayna

The Birds are Singing :)

I've been told to just ramble. Except I don't know what I'm going to ramble about. I'm not going to backspace though, no matter what I do. I mean, I'll backspace if I make a typo, but not for content.

Tuesday was somethin' else. I headed to karate at about 3:45 after running some errands for my mom. I road there with my window down, sunglasses on and Dani California blarin'. I miss summer so bad. Anyways, I was there early to assist Jesse with classes. He knew I wasn't feelin' so good so he didn't have me do much, but everything went well the times I did help. Ugh, I didn't know it was possible for me to be angry at a five year old, but tonight I was. I was showing this girl how to get out of a front choke, and I had her grab me, and she dug her nails into my trachea and squeezed hard. Her face even contorted into a funky "I'ma kill you!" expression. Maybe I imagined it, but whatever. Five year olds aren't the strongest, but when it's somewhere as vulnerable as your neck, any kind of pressure there is uncool.

My class started at 7:45, and there weren't that many people there. I learned the rest of Nanhaichi, or however you spell it, and I'm really excited about that. We went over some partner drills and freestyle sparring combinations. I absolutely HATE those. You gotta go from one line to another making up stuff as you go. I feel like such an idiot when I do it. I go from looking like a 2nd gup to a white belt, just awkward and unconfident.

Anyways, I went home and went to bed, then Wednesday I had CNA at noon. I got picked in the random drug screening thing, so I had to go to the hospital to get that done. I have no idea why, but I was terrified to take the test. I've never done drugs in my life, but there's just something about it that I don't like. I got back to class and had to make a bed with someone in it. I got partnered up with a real peach of a woman (sarcasm, of course). She's been a CNA for blah-blah blah years and where she comes from, they do it like blah-blah-blah. So annoying. But she just rushed through it and barely let me catch up. It's not a hard process, but I'm still learning and still kind of need to take my time with things, but yeah...

Class let out at 4:30 then I jet to the studio to help Jesse, once again. I'm getting more comfortable being in classes. My instructor has been really sick, but he made it up for the later classes. He said he was really impressed with how I was projecting my voice, and that was a big boost to my confidence. I attempted to study during the class before mine, but that didn't go so well. Besides a few injuries to others in there, class went well. There was a little drama afterwards, but it's all been taken care of.

Thursday was a really good day. This weather is crazy. Before the snow even melted, it was up above seventy degrees. I wore shorts for the first time in forEVER. My legs are seriously pale. I mean, I'm always pale, but the parts you usually see are the parts that usually get the sun. My legs have been hidden since fall, and you can definitely tell. (<<< that's a reason I shouldn't ramble on here. I start to go in depth on just how pale my legs are..) My sister and I rode around and went and ate. We got to the studio a little early, and trained. I had fun in class, and kind of skinned up my knuckles a little. Afterwards we taped throws, and I'm about to start editing a video to post on here and on Facebook.

Today is Friday. It's not as nice as it was yesterday, but it still feels amazing. I'm in the mood to just go driving, and keep driving, with the windows down, sunglasses on and the music way up. I'm feeling so blah, but I'm extrememly restless. I don't think anything's going on tonight. Tomorrow night I'm going to go see Grease. My high school's putting it on and some of my friends are in it. Other than that I have no idea what's going on.

I'm having a seriously hard time focusing right now. I'm thinking it's because of this weather, so I'm going to go start editing the video.

Later :)

Here's to Spontaneity :)

When I decide to do something like cut my hair, I gotta do it THEN. I can't wait, or I'll chicken out, or decide not to. I guess the same goes with piercing my ears. I was just sitting here when I decided I wanted to do it. I went down and talked to my mom about it, then we were off to Wal-mart.

It didn't hurt at all. When I had it done in third grade I cried, but this time I barely even flinched.

I can't wait to be able to wear cute earrings, instead of these ugly gold studs. I kind of like these:

Anyways, my head is seriously starting to bug me, so I think I'll go shut my eyes for a bit.

Goodnight :)

So Confused...

I have no idea what I'm going to do.

I have two realistic careers I need to choose between. I can either be an elementary school teacher or something in nursing.

I've been pretty sure about becoming a teacher for the past year or so. Assisting Jesse at karate made me sure I wanted to teach. I've been doing a teaching internship program through my high school this year, and it's kind of made me rethink things. Teaching kids at karate is way different than teaching kids in school. At karate, pretty much every kid wants to be there. You get a wide range of ages and personalities, but you all have one common passion. The family atmosphere is another thing that I love. But if I taught at an elementary school, I'd lose a lot of that. Most of the kids would hate me, just because they didn't want to be at school, not because of anything I did to them personally. I'd be around one age, all the time. If I was a teacher, I'd want to teach a really young age, but the way the system works, they could toss me into sixth grade, and I'd seriously dislike that.

Besides, how am I supposed to be a teacher when I hate school? I love karate, and could teach Basic Form Number One a million times, and never get tired of it. I defintely wouldn't have the same enthusiasm for the ABC's, or long division.

I would love to be able to teach karate for a living. Pretty much everybody in karate wants that, but I know for me, that may not be an option, or a path I choose to take. If I could, I would love to open up a bakery/coffee shop thing, but that's definitely not in the cards for me. That's more of a dream than anything.

I've been taking a course at the JuCo to be a Certified Nurses Aide. By the middle of March, I'll be able to work in a hospital or an old folks home. I'd prefer to work at a hospital, because it's short term for the patients and I'd work with a variety of ages. In a nursing home, it's long term and I'd get attached to the patients and I wouldn't be able to handle the deaths.

There would be nothing wrong with being a CNA the rest of my life. I would take care of people, and make what they were going through a little easier. I wouldn't be responsible for medications, so the pressure of messing up and hurting someone wouldn't be there. I don't want that pressure. I don't want to worry about figuring out what's wrong with someone, I just want to be able to make it a little easier. I don't want to have to tell Mrs. Jones that she has such-an-such disease or stick a needle into her, I want to help her out of bed, get her dressed and prettied up to go to supper. I want to take care of people, not their disease.

If I decide that I do want more responsibilty, I could continue my education to become an RN. It'd be a two year associate's program at the JuCo, and then I'd be responsible for a lot more. I start clinicals at the end of this month, so I think I'll figure out pretty quick whether or not I'm into this whole thing, but I think I will be. I doubt I'd wanna be an RN, but the opportunity would be there.

I've wanted to be an anesthesiologist, an OB/GYN, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, an elementary school teacher, and now a nurse's aide. I keep taking huge steps down on the salary ladder. That's one thing that's keeping me from wanting to stick with CNA. A huge pro is the lack of schooling I'd need. I'd go to college still, I just don't know what for. I could always work as a CNA and work towards a Bachelor's in Elementary Education, but if I end up happy as a CNA, why would I? I don't even know. I've always had the thought in my head that you HAD to have at least four years of college to be successful, like it was mandatory, but what do I do if I'll be ready to do what I want before I even graduate high school? And if I'm busy working, when would I have time to go to school? When I took the step away from occupational therapy to education I said that money didn't matter if I was happy. But the salary of a CNA is half of that of a teacher. That's kind of a big deal. I could support myself, but what'll happen if some day I want to get married, have kids? I might love my job, but I wouldn't be able to support us.

If everything continues as I think it will, and I end up loving being a CNA, I just need to decide if happiness really is more important than money...

I Ate Your Cups, and They Were Delicious :)

Valentine's Day is coming up.

6th grade: Got dumped by the boy I had crushed on since 3rd grade for the last time. I got him a box full of mini Reese's peanut butter cups, and ate every single one of them :) What kind of guy dumps a girl on Valentine's Day? Seriously...

7th grade: Stuco had a fundraiser where they sold carnations and I ended up "dating" the only guy that gave me one. We lasted about a week.

8th grade: Hated that year, but I wasn't single.

9th grade: First Valentine's Day with Jesse. Giant teddy bear in the front seat of his car. Stereotypically cute :)

10th grade: Wow. Won't go into detail, but it was amazing. The sweetest thing that's ever been done for me.

11th grade: Nothing special, but still nice :)

12th grade: ?


I have karate that night, so it's not like I'm going to be sitting around alone, but it's the first Valentine's Day since middle school that I've been single. I'm trying to work through my options.

Option 1: Say eff Valentine's Day all together, and go it alone.
Option 2: Hang out with a friend, but even if we say it's just as friends, I know it won't end up being that way, and I'm not sure about that.
Option 3: Give in and be all mushy and junk. Don't get me wrong, I'm about as mushy as mashed potatoes, but still...

I just realized my head is REALLY lumpy. I knew it was shaped weird, but DANG. Yes, I realize I just went off in a completely different direction than where this post started, but my head is killing me. I had about a solid month without a single headache (which was heaven, since I had the same headache from April until December.) But the past week or so I've felt horrible. I've felt this constant pressure at the base of my skull, not always painful, but always uncomfortable. My mom said there's probably nothing to worry about, because I recently had to get an MRI done on it for the headaches, and something would've shown up if there were a problem.

It's to the point now where I just gotta lie down in the dark, and hopefully it'll be gone by tomorrow...

Goodnight.

Make a Wish :)

I'm not sure what I want to talk about. After I posted this morning I went to CNA class. It was really interesting today. We went over a lot of infection control and stuff like that, then we started on body mechanics. On Wednesday (if it's not a snow day) we're going to start partnering up and lifing each other and acting like old people. At some point in the near future I have to go scrub shopping. I want to check Wal-Mart, the scrub shop here, and then I heard there was one in the next town over that has good prices. I also gotta get a watch, a mini notepad and a mini tub of Vicks to block out icky smells.

Class let out, and I eventually made it home. I didn't really do anything except relax until it was time for karate. Tonight I got promoted. I got my first blue tip for my red belt, so I'm one step closer to black belt :) We did some partner work, forms and push ups in class tonight. My arms are already aching a little from the push ups. I'm such a girl. I could do sit ups and crunches all day long, but I can't do a proper push up to save my life.

In the second adult class we went over Korean terminology, and I knew all eighteen, so I was pretty happy about not having to worry about learning any new ones. I then got partnered up with two women in there to go over joint locks. I don't know why, but we just kept busting up laughing and couldn't focus. One of the ladies kept saying "you're so adorablllle!" when I was actually trying to do well, and I was like, "No! I'm HARDCORE!!" It's like when a little chihuahua thinks it's big and bad, and every one else is like, "awww, look at it!"

Anyways, I wanted to go to the Rubber Chicken Factory at the college tonight, but things didn't work out, so we'll definitely have to go next month. (March 7, 9:00 pm, jussayin' :P) I came home and ate supper, and now I'm sittin' in bed. I really should go to sleep early tonight. I haven't been sleeping well lately. SIDENOTE: I just realized that I kind of cheat at 11:11. My phone is a minute faster than my laptop, so I make a wish on my cell, wait a minute, then make the same wish again on my laptop. But I digress: sleeping hasn't been going well, but I'm suuuper tired, so I think I might try soon. Or I could read a little first. I haven't been reading as much as I used to, and I think I'm going to start again.

I'm at the point in my post where I realize that I've just been rambling, so I'm going to get off now before I change the subject again.

Later taters :)

Fee Fye Fo Fum!

I think Teaching Internship is going to be fun. I had my first go at it this morning at 8:00. I'm with Mrs. Sharp and Miss Crystal. The kids call me Miss Alayna, and it's really weird. The kids at karate are supposed to call me Miss Alayna, but only a few ever have.

Anyways, every morning as soon as the kids get there, everyone sits down for breakfast in a "family setting," so everyone sits at the same table and talks. The kids are supposed to pour their own milk and scoop up their own food, and it's really tough to watch them spill everything, but it's cool that they get to do their own stuff. Some of the kids are barely three, and they go up to five so the ability levels vary a bit. The teachers (and interns) are required to eat with the students to "model" the behavior. I'm proud of myself though, because today was cream of wheat and bananas, and I choked it down because I was supposed to. The teacher said that I'd get good at pretending I like the foods, when I actually hate them. Cream of wheat isn't as bad as I'd thought it'd be, but I absolutely ABHOR bananas. But I was hardcore about it.

And ohmygosh I GOT MY OWN CUBBY. I have no idea why I'm so excited about this, but I am. My coat looked so out of place, but it was kind of cute. You get to feeling like a giant in a tiny world, because there're so many little people running around and you feel like you're going to squash them. I'm supposed to be taking notes the whole time, but it's just not possible. Even though the teacher's going to have me hang back a little for a week so I can get to know the kids a little better, the kids don't know that. I'm an "adult" in their eyes, so if they need something, they come to me, especially because I'm the new one. Today almost every kid asked me to sit by them, and I did a puzzle with one, and read a book to another.

I'm really looking forward to getting to know everybody in the next semester, and maybe this'll help me decide if I really want to be a teacher or do something else, because I've been thinking a lot about that lately.

Oh well, I'm not going to stress about it at this point. Que sera sera :)

You Say Yes, I Say No, You Say Stop, I Say Go Go Go :)

Ok, so apparently I'm needing to educate a friend of mine on Glee.

Below are two of my favorite performances of theirs.

It's not all about the singing. The story line is interesting, and you kind of get attached to the characters. It's on when we're at karate on Tuesdays, so I always TiVo it. I'm tempted to have a marathon and make my friend watch it, but for some that may qualify as cruel and unusual punishment.

Anyways, about what's been happening lately...
As you can see from my videos posted below, we got some snow. Like, knee deep snow. It's been fun to play in and go sledding, even though some people couldn't go due to being snowed in or sick or whatnot and that was a bummer. My head and neck are killing me from wiping out yesterday and bashing my head on the ground. I'm told it looked really cool, but I'm still regretting it. My knee got a little hyper extended because I'm an IDIOT. I was standing at the bottom of the hill and my sister was coming down on her stomach. I stood there and watched her come straight at me. I didn't even try to move. She rammed into my knees and took me out. That same day the two biggest guys there were messing around and got a little crazy coming down as I was hiking up and slammed into my knees again. I turned a little so it hit me on the side and not full front, and I'm really lucky for that. It definitely could have broken my knee. Broken knee equals no karate, so that's no bueno.

You know what else equals no karate? ALL THIS FLIPPIN' SNOW. Snow days for school means karate is cancelled, so I haven't had class since Monday. I'm definitely training tomorrow, no matter how cruddy I feel. *coughpromotioncough* Yeah, I'm excited, even though I've been trying to be patient. Saturday there was a skating party for everybody, and I went. I haven't skated in about five years, and I forgot how much I love it. I wish it wasn't nerdy to go there anymore, or I defintely would.

I'm kind of excited for tomorrow. I start Internship at the Pre-K. I have that from 8:00 until 9:30, then I'll go to the elementary school to see my Little. I'll have a little break before I need to be at the VoTech to go to CNA from noon til 5, and I'm pretty sure we're going to have to stay the full five hours to make up hours we missed because of the snow. And then karate!! I'm so excited.

Anyways, it's extremely difficult for me to type right now because I'm arguing about pants and leprechauns and other various topics, so that's all for tonight.

Adios yall :)

No Day Like a Snow Day :)

Today I went sledding with Raye, Jared, Leslie, Darrin and Hannah. I had an amazing time. My butt's hurtin' from all the bumps, my thumb is hurting because I fell once and bent it back, and my head is hurting because one time I went with my sister, and she headbutt the back of my head. All in all though, it was a pretty great day :)

My Day :)

I took a ton of videos today and decided to compile them into one instead of typing them out. I just don't have the attention span for it today :D

Houshin Sool!

Tonight I tested for my first blue tip for my red belt. To say I was nervous is a huge understatement. I didn't feel that I was as strong as I could have been, but I went ahead with it anyways. Below are a few highlights and whatnot.



My Sparring Match Against Joshua

(This little four year old was seriously my toughest opponent of the night. He wore me out by chasing me around so much. I think my family got a kick out of watching us.)

Board Break

(My break was a jump back kick. I HATE that kick, just because of my lack of jumping ability. I broke it on my second try and really surprised myself.)

Ok, so all of that up there was pretty much for me to go back and look at later on and just to have. Overall I think I did alright. I was in the "warzone" the whole time, up until my nieces showed up. I was focused and angry and feeling hardcore until I looked over and saw them, then I turned into a softy and waved at them and looked outside a lot. For some reason that kind of snapped me out of the trance I was in. (Take karate and you'll understand what I'm talking about when I say trance.) After testing I went to Sonic and Taco Mayo with my mom to get my family food. I wolfed down some tamales and went to take a shower. I LOVE the clean feeling of taking a shower after I get gross. But anyways...

My head is really killing me. Every single time I've tested, I've always got sick right after, without fail. It happens for a number of reasons. Before testing I'm always so stressed out that my body kind of shuts down for awhile after the adrenaline rush and stress are gone. I think that's why my head hurts. Either that or dehydration. Either way, I just know that right now I'm wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep for a very long time, so I may post more tomorrow.

Goodnight :)

I'm Feeling Fat, and Sassy!

If you didn't understand my title, go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRx6wtejrQ

That picture to the right was me today in my second hour class. That's actually where I started doodling on paint and decided to draw myself thinking about a chicken. I wasn't actually thinking about a chicken, but yeah...

Let's see, I ended my last post with heading off to my CNA class. I thought my hand was going to fall off! In that class, you have to be an amazing note taker. With the way my head works, I have to write down every single word or I won't understand myself later on, so I spent every minute furiously scribbling so I'd be able to study at some point. I made it through the class with the help of a few caffeinated drinks and some cheetos. I'm going to get fat because of that class, I swear, but anyways, I left there about 4:20 or so, came home, then went to karate at 6:45.

I'm testing tomorrow night for my first blue tip for my red belt, and I'm really nervous. I'm not nervous about knowing my stuff or anything, I'm just nervous about my endurance and being able to last through the whole test. I'm going to be the most senior in my group for the first time, and I have no idea what that's going to be like, but I know I've got to be hardcore. Anyhoo, class last night went really well.

Today was a purple day, so that meant I had English then Newspaper. English was boring, but today I actually had work to do. I'm reading Wuthering Heights in there, and I finished section one of the response questions, finished a graphic organizer to go with it, and handed in three chapters of my senior memory book. I had a good time in Newspaper. Our teacher was busy with homecoming stuff, so we were free to mess around, talk and eat Oreo balls and drink Capri Sun that one of my classmates brought for her birthday. But the fun died down, as you can see from my drawing above. I threw together a story for the article, then messed around on jigzone before getting bored and moving on to drawing that.

My afternoon was pretty fantastic, and karate was KILLER tonight. We did a lot of basics and advanced level kicks. I kind of kicked a concrete floor pretty hard and my ankle and toes are still aching but I think it'll be ok for tomrrow. We did a lot of partner drills and forms and a bunch of other stuff, and I'm feeling a little better about tomorrow night. I may ramble more tomorrow, but it's 12:41 and I'm getting really sleepy, so goodnight :)

What Is This?!

So I'm kinda just sitting here twiddlin' my thumbs. I got out of school a little after 9:30 and came home to wait for this CNA course I'm taking to start, but that doesn't happen until noon. I guess the last time I posted was Saturday night, so I think I'm just going to ramble about what has happened since then.

Sunday wasn't that fantastic, but part of it was. Monday I was on time to school for the first time this semester. As soon as you get into the habit of showing up 3 or 4 minutes late, it's really difficult to fix it. Anyways, we played Drug Dealer in Internship just like we always do, and then I went home. I need to figure out what's up with my "Little" on Friday to see if I just need to get switched away from her and go be a mentor for my fourth grade teacher's class.

At noon on Monday I went to my second class. I'm taking the certification program at the community college to be a certified nurses aid. So I pretty much get to do all the nasty stuff so the regular nurses don't have to. Part of it is just helping the patient or resident with basic every day stuff, even if it's just combing hair or helping them get dressed. I think I'm really going to like it, minus all the icky stuff. Class is supposed to last from noon til 5, but the instructor tries to get us out by 4:15 or so.

Yesterday I had English and Newspaper, and those were ok. I don't really like English, but Newspaper is usually fun. We got in a screaming match, and even though most of the phrases we used were inappropriate and made absolutely no sense, it was fun. I didn't think I was going to be able to go to karate, but I ended up taking my truck and making it. I got smacked a few times, but overall it was good.

Today I went to Internship and played cards, once again. I have class and then karate tonight. I think this is going to be the last night until I test for my first blue tip on Friday. I may post later, but now I need to get my things together and jet :)

Snip Snip :)

Spur of the moment, I decided to cut my bangs tonight.

I did a little research on google and whatnot, then gathered my supplies.

Before:

After:

I think I did an alright job. I'm pretty excited. So excited that I decided to make an entire blog post about my impulsive hair cut. :)

My Failed Attempt at Being Awesome

I got bored earlier and decided I was going to build a card castle. Any time I decide to attempt this, I get the same feeling.

I'm gonna be awesome at this! It can't be that hard!

But it always goes the same way......

After a few failed attempts, I got the first level completed..

I took a break, and came back and completed the second level..

I don't wanna brag, but look at this work of art!
I have all the same suits facing the same direction in numerical order! I have red cards paired up with red cards, and black with black. Every thing is perfect! I know I'm kind of OCD, but I think it's pretty.
(This is also the most progress I've ever made on a card castle.)





I astound myself by how patient and determined I can be when I set my mind to it. I'm usually like a little two year old cracked out on sugar, but I'm a hardcore card castle builder. I glare at people when they walk too hard, or breathe too close to my precious castle. And then I let my guard down and get distracted. I had a row with spades facing the right, and I accidently put a club. So stupid little me decided that it was important to fix my non-mistake, and create an even bigger mistake.
This:

So, in my passive aggressive silent rage, I did this:

I'm not sure if you can tell in the video, but I was PISSED. I'm still sitting here pouting, because I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning for NOTHING. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted...

I Could Totally Survie 31 Seconds After Kicking A Bear You-Know-Where...

I came across theoatmeal.com while reading MyLifeIsAverage the other day, and it's pretty much the only thing that's held my attention for the last three hours.

Things I've learned, thanks to theoatmeal.com:

1. I could take 27 Justin Biebers in a fight.

2. My body could feed 34 hungry weasels for a day.

3. I could survive a 1 minute and 16 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor.

4. I can hear a frequency people over 25 have a hard time hearing (I HATE that sound).

5. I have a 16% chance of surviving an intense love-making session with big foot.

6. There are currently 1,303,260 germs living on my cell phone: the equivalent of 261 toilet seats.

7. I have a 41% chance of being devoured by my loved ones.

8. I could survive for 1.4 seconds on the surface of the sun.

9. I'm 67% addicted to Facebook.

10. It would take me 55 minutes to become infected after a zombie bite.

11. My body could only support 1 lonely tapeworm.

12. I could take 45 baboons in a fight armed only with a giant don't-wanna-say.

13. I could survive 31 seconds after kicking a bear in the balls.


......ok, so that was a total waste of time, energy, and blog space, but oh well...

toodles :)

Save Our Souls...

I love the way this song's chorus makes my heart feel all full and bursty and whatnot :)

We Try to be Funny, But Then Stuff Like This Happens...

Brrrr

That's me right now. I'm freezing! I know I've been all excited for snow or whatever, but I'm done with it. I just want summer so I can wear flip flops and shorts and go swimming. But when it's summer, all I want is winter so I can wrap up in blankets and whatnot.

(this drawing took me forever, by the way)

Anyways, today was pretty good. I only had one set class today: Teaching Internship. Our schedules haven't been set up yet, so all we do is come into the classroom and play "Drug Dealer." I love that game! There's nine girls in there, and we all just show up and play cards and try to get Mr. Shields to play Taylor Swift for the opening of the daily announcements.

I couldn't go see my "Little" so I just came home at 9:30. I've been trying not to nap all the time, because it just messes up my sleeping schedule, but I got suuuper sleepy around 11:00, and my dad said he'd wake me up by noon so I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal. I ended up sleeping until 2:50 when I had to go pick up my sister from school. I've been taking my dog with me when we go so I've been getting a lot of weird looks (my dog is HUGE.) I got my chores done and went and got gas, then waited around until it was time to leave for karate.

Karate was pretty fantastic. We went through a lot of stuff that we haven't been able to lately. I always feel really good during karate. It's like I block out all the crud that's been messing with me lately and completely focus on what I'm doing. Recently I actually thought about giving up karate for a while. I didn't know if that would help me feel better, but then I realized that it'd probably make things worse. I don't even know what's wrong, but I know karate helps. Besides, I'm testing at the end of this month for my first blue tip for my red belt. I'm getting seriously close to being eligible to test for black belt. After this month, I have six more months to test for my second blue tip, then my black belt test whenever I'm able to. So I have anywhere from eight to fifteen months. That sounds like a lot, but it's really not when put into perspective.

I've noticed lately how fast time seems to be going. The last four years have just gone by like nothing. Six months feels like nothing. I graduate in four months. My senior project is due in the next three months, which reminds me that I STILL need to go to Walmart and get a notebook for it.

I have newspaper tomorrow which I'm looking forward to. I thought I was going to hate that class, but lately it's been a lot of fun. We sit around and share crazy stories and laugh our butts off. For February's edition I get to write an article over the Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation. Google it. That crap's real.

But now I must try to get some sleep. My stomach's hurtin' real bad because I came home and ate a pack of White Castle frozen mini burger things, and they were nasty. They're one of those foods you know are disgusting, but you eat anyways...kind of like vienna sausages. Anyways, off to bed I go.

Goodnight :)

Animal Crackers in my Soup :)

Today was nothing special. I went to school and got out super early. I came home and watched half of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button before I went upstairs and went back to bed. I slept from 11:00 or so and didn't get up until 6:30. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been super tired lately, and I think my anxiety issues are back. I'm not sure what's wrong, but I'm working to figure it out. I then ate supper and now I'm just messing around on the computer.

Because today was so uneventful, I've decided to post the most hilarious video my teacher showed my class this morning. Enjoy :)

Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful...

I haven't posted since Thursday, so I sort of feel obligated to do so today even though not many people read this.

Let's see...what's happened since Thursday?

Friday I made a hot fudge cheesecake for my friend John after I got out of school at 9:30. He left Saturday morning to move to be with his soon-to-be wife. I went to drop the cheesecake off and was bombarded into going to eat, to Wal-mart and eating some of the cheesecake. It got to be time to leave, so I hugged him and said my goodbye, and I'm really proud of myself because I made it to my car before I cried (I cried on Thursday after his last class here and kind of got teased for it). I'm really happy for him, but it sucks that he's gone. He's been a brother/therapist/teacher to me for the past couple years, and we're all really going to miss him.

Saturday wasn't much better. I sat around my house being a bum and slept a lot. I went to Wal-mart at 10:30 with my mom and sister and got a mouth organ. Or a harmonica, whatever you want to call it, but I prefer mouth organ...I stayed up until 5 in the morning because I had slept so much during the day. As soon as I get done typing this I'm going to practice because I'm bound and determined to learn how to play at least one song.

Sunday I woke up at 12:30 and went to my grade school best friend's baby shower at 2:00. It was so bizarre. I kept thinking how it seems like just yesterday we were running around in our shiny purple pants, nerd glasses and Scooby Doo tshirts and going to Girl Scouts and playing on the playground. I remember one year we organized a group of ten or so girls to be in a commercial for a chocolate covered banana thing we planned on making to sell at her grandparents' gas station. We wrote a song and assigned parts and actually did really well directing the whole thing. The rest of Sunday I hung around with some people and then decorated cookies. I ended up not going to sleep until 1:00 or so and it killed me this morning.

I am pretty excited today though because it FINALLY snowed! It's been going pretty heavy for awhile now.

I drove for the first time on it this morning and was a little late because I took my time. I got out three hours later and the roads had already slicked up a bit. I didn't know how to do the brakes, so I hit them a little hard at one point and almost slid into a stop sign. I got home and changed into sweat pants as soon as possible, and now I think I may go make a sandwich...I'm not sure why I'm always talking about sandwiches on this blog, because I'm not really all that obsessed with them...even though I do make pretty fantastic sandwiches. Or pasta...yeah. I'm going to make pasta. And I'm seriously just sitting here typing down my thoughts, but I don't want to backspace so I'm just going to leave it. Yeah...

p.s- Here's my pasta.

Don't judge me, I know there's a ton of it. Mother Nature hates me right now, so I feel I'm within my rights to give my dying body all the pasta it can eat.

It Hurts to Type :((

I'm so freakin' sore! I can't even physically function right. I look ridiculous when I try to walk. It's like a dinosaur that can't bend its knees, and can't look left or right without moving its shoulders. I'm really not in the mood to type tonight because I'm still kind of sad :(

I think I'm going to draw a picture.

It's a lion. From Lion King on Broadway. Heck yeah...(total waste of 15 minutes, but what ever..)












My eye lids are getting all droopy and angry with me, so I think I'm going to bed. I'll be writing more tomorrow...

Goodnight :)

Too Rye Loo Rye Too Rye Loo Rye AYE!

As I write this I'm sitting in my second/final hour of the day: Newspaper. I was in this class in sophomore year and I hated it, but my guidance counselor thought that maybe my tastes in classes had changed in two years. They haven't. It's not that I hate writing, because I really do love it, it's just the politics that come along with it.

I get to sit around and do nothing. We can't even have good internet! I'm having to make this as a WordPad document (my laptop doesn't have Word or other Microsoft programs yet, so I have to use WordPad, save it to my flash drive, then import this when I get home and have time to post) because my blog is blocked. It's under the category "Forums and Newsgroups." I understand blocking porn and websites on how to make your own drugs or whatever, but I hate that they have to block every single form of free speech. And over Christmas break, they blocked my favorite game site. I'm ticked. sigh....(at this point I left school, went home, made a sandwich, talked to some friends, took a shower then went to karate. It is now 11:21...)

Anyways...I had something completely and utterly awesome to talk about tonight, but I forgot. I only go to school until 11:00 now, so I need to figure out what to do with my new free time. I think I may start running/jogging/having an asthma attack/dying where no one will find me/making my mom worry/having my iPod stolen by an unsympathetic hobo/being found/making people sad, but I'm thinking that may be unsafe. I could run where no one could see me, but I value my life and don't want to be kidnapped by the devil worshippers that live by the river, but I don't want to run where people can see me because I value my dignity. So I have to choose between safety and my self-esteem...I'm not sure which wins yet.

Oh, and I've also decided that it may not be a good idea to act like a cat to teach my family a lesson because then they'll start to hate me and become passive-aggressive towards me because everyone is passive-aggressive to their cat and like to watch them fall off tall things and make fools of themselves and I don't think I'm at a stage in my life where I can handle that kind of neglect and ridicule. And I like being around people too much to hide in random places.

I was talking to a girl on Omegle earlier as I was typing (If you've never been on Omegle, I suggest you don't go there because there's probably a reason you haven't seen it. It's just a knock-off of Chat-roulette, and you may read some pretty disturbing things, but I digress...) We started talking about blogs, and she gave me the link to hers, so I gave her the link to mine. She begged me to tell her how to make the astronaut helmet thing and said that she would advertise my blog just so I'd tell her, then she disconnected before I could say that it's really not that big of a deal, and it's just paint and a sharpie. So if some random people start following me, I'll know why. I have no idea what her name is, and she didn't follow me, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to tell her that, but oh well...

I need to go to sleep, but I've been listening to "Come on Eileen" on repeat for the past hour and I'm really hyped up. I can't come up with a clever ending line, so I'll post this video so you too may have this stupid song stuck in your head for the rest of eternity...

Goodnight :))

c('-'c)

My title is pretty freakin' awesome. It's a little kirby thing hugging. The c's are his arms, the parentheses are his chubby belly, the apostrophes are his eyes, and the dash is his non-smiling mouth...I feel kind of sad because I had to ask my mom how to spell apostrophe...but it's still awesome.

Anyways...what kind of fruit cakes go to Sonic at 10:00 at night in flippin' January to get ice cream?! Well......that would be my sister and me. I got one of those red velvet cake blast things with cheese cake chunks in it. Every time I get a blast, I always end up just searching around the ice cream to search for chunks of the candy or whatever's in it.

Blasts are a couple dollars a piece, so wouldn't it just be a better idea to go to the gas station and buy a candy bar? Or with the money I save from just getting that I could buy TWO candy bars. I never even eat much of the ice cream after the chunks and whip cream are gone. Maybe I'm not paying for the ice cream at all, but for the fun I get to have while searching for random chunks of goodness. I'm so easy to entertain. I always get a "HECK YEAH!!" moment when I find a huge chunk of candy, like I won the freakin' lottery or something.

I seriously didn't want to type two paragraphs of nonsense about how I like to search for candy in my ice cream, but I guess that's just how I roll.

What I REALLY meant to write about was my night, and how I'm really not looking forward to school tomorrow.

I had a really good time tonight. We had class for the first time since the 14th of December, if I remember correctly. We got warmed up with some basics and then we partnered off for joint locks. I got partnered up with Matt (random park buddy). Then we had to go through my highest form: Ba Sai. I learned how to do some parts better than I knew how before, but now my legs are KILLING me. I'm using a lot of CAPS tonight. I have no idea why. Maybe I'm just IN THE MOOD TO YELL. I also just noticed that when I'm typing with all capital letters I smack the keyboard a little harder. Maybe I'm just trying to communicate to my computer just how much I mean what I'm saying. One of these days I'm going to have an entire conversation with someone where I just yell at them the entire time. Then they'll ask why I'm yelling, and I'll reply, "I'M STUCK ON CAPS LOCK. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF." And then I'll have one less friend, but hey, if they can't handle my weird-ness then they really couldn't be my friend in the first place, but anyways....

Crap. I forgot what I was talking about......oh yeah, how much school sucks. Actually, it's not going to be so bad anymore. This is the last semester of high school for me, and my schedule is pretty fantastic. We have a rotating, two day system. One day is purple, the next is gold, then back to purple and so on and so forth. Purple day has blocks one through three, advisory, then four. Gold days have blocks five through seven, advisory, then eight. Blocks last an hour and twenty-six minutes and advisory lasts thirty. Tomorrow is purple. I only have two classes: English 8 and Newspaper, then I leave at 11. Gold days are even better. I'm in a Teaching Internship class during first block. Last semester we got to rotate through the grades, observing them all, and this semester we get to pick one to get more involved with. I'm talking teaching entire lessons to a group of twenty little kids. I'm STOKED. I haven't decided whether I want to do kindergarten or preschool, but I'm pretty sure I'd rather do preschool. I might decide to do kindergarten though because my second block is community service and I'll be at the elementary school already. I get to go see my "Little", Michaela, and I go with her to gym, music, art or library. I only stay until 10:30 so I'll get out earlier on those days. I'm going to try to get a job so I can be productive with my new free time and actually earn money and grow up a little. But tomorrow I think I'm going to come home, and maybe eat a sandwich...or one and a half...

Cheese, Sleep Searching and Lack of Pants

I apparently Google in my sleep (yes, I just used Google as a verb...). I woke up at midnight last night and decided that the most important thing in the world was to make a sandwich. I got up, wrapped myself up in a blanket and went downstairs.

After a few minutes and half a block of pepperjack cheese, I had one and a half grilled cheeses. Not just one, not two, but one and a half. I have no idea how I came to the conclusion that one and a half was the proper amount of fried, cheesy goodness, but it is. Anyways, I ate my sandwiches, watched TV for a bit then went back upstairs and finally went to sleep...or so I thought.

I woke up this morning and opened my laptop to discover that I had Googled "how to make a ninja throwing star out of paper." I don't get it, but whatever...

Today my head is killing me, and I'm a little light headed, and I've decided to stick it to the man. I go back to school tomorrow, so I decided to sleep in as long as I possibly could, and mess around on the internet between naps. I haven't even put on proper pants today! I feel like a boss! (Side note: I hate pants, but we'll discuss that later....)

I have karate tonight for the first time in FOREVER. I feel like crap but I'm hoping to get feeling better so I can go. I guess I should go do laundry so I'll have proper pants to wear out into public....sigh.

Depression=Productivity

So I'm in a really crummy mood tonight, but I decided I was going to try to do something about it. For Christmas I got a huge tub of cheese balls. We recently finished all of them (my sister and her boyfriend ate most of them), and even though they were a little stale, we didn't give up. I felt as if I had accomplished something.

I wanted to do something really awesome with the bucket. I couldn't fit it over my head, so I had to do a little surgery on it first.

I got it to fit, gathered all my supplies and created the best thing EVER....

It's an astronaut helmet. I'm extremely proud of it, and I guess I feel a little less bummed....and now I kind of want to go to the moon.....

Blogging When Bummed Doesn't Really Work...

I said I was going to post an update of what I did today, but I'm kind of feeling bummed, so instead I decided to post a video of earlier today when I was in a happy mood.

It's me driving, Raye in the middle and her boyfriend, Jared taping.

I Wrote This While Hiding Under My Desk, Just to Prove a Point

Next fall I'm planning on moving out of my parents' house to live in the dorms at the local JuCo. The dorms are literally seven blocks away from where I live now, but hey, if it's paid for (scholarship thingy) then the experience of living away from my parents couldn't hurt. Also a plus: I live so close that if I ever begin to starve, I only have to drag myself a short distance for real food.

My parents and sister know about this plan, and I think they're looking forward to it. Both my dad and my sister have come into my room at some point and began visualizing what they'd like to do with it. They talk about what it's going to be like once I'm gone like I'm about to die, but then I remind them that I'll be here all the time but it never really helps. My sister has already asked for a cat once I'm gone. I would love to have one around right now, but I'm allergic so I'd kind of like my house to be a safe-zone of non-sneeze-ness.

I know Raye is going to miss me. Unlike most sisters, we're best friends and I'd rather hang out with her than most people. I know she's sad, but I think she's secretly excited that I'm leaving because she wants to replace me with a cat, so I've decided to act like a cat to show them just how sucky life is going to be once I leave. I'm going to start hiding in random places (like under beds, in closets or under the bathroom sink), and I'm only going to appear when it's time for food or when someone feels obliged to rub or scratch me. And when I do decide to grace them with my presence, I'm going to hog the best seats, or lay in the middle of the floor sunbathing so they all have to step around me. I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to sit on the laps of guests and demand their attention no matter how uncomfortable they seem to be, but I'll let you know how it goes...

First Post

So I've decided to write a blog for a number of reasons.
1) I'd like to remember the random day-to-day nonsense that I go through if I ever choose to look back.
2) I've been told it'd be a good idea, and I'm easily susceptible to positive family/peer pressure. (Is that really a bad thing?)
3) I've been reading various blogs/MyLifeIsAverage a lot today, and I guess it inspired me.

But anyways, about me. My name is Alayna, and I'm a senior at the only high school in a slightly small town in Kansas. Some people hate it here, but I kind of love it. I know the names of pretty much everyone in my graduating class, but then again, that's not the biggest accomplishment considering there are only about 130 of us. My family is pretty much average: a dad, a mom, a little sister and a big brother who's grown and has a family of his own. I've been in karate for the past two and a half years, and it's a big reason I am who I am.

I'm not sure how I'd describe myself. I can be a bit of a spaz, but I think it makes life interesting. I'm OCD about some things, but not about others. I'm a serious hopeless romantic. Next fall I'm going to start college with the intended major of Elementary Education. I could speak to a group of forty seven year olds easier than I could talk to a group of seven forty year olds. I'm still a kid at heart and I love doing things like building little hideouts and going to the park. I like to break out in dance at random times and in random places, but with me it's more of a wild flailing than actual dancing.
Today is January 1, 2011. In other words, 1-1-11. I am extremely excited by the fact that all the numbers are the same. I'm easily entertained (apparently). Another example of my easily excitable nature: yesterday I dead-legged myself at a New Year's Eve party, and as I was bending over, grabbing onto my thighs in self-inflicted excruciating pain, I was immediately distracted by the hot pink bright-ness of my socks, and got really excited.

We rang in the New Year like we normally do: watching the "adults" become slightly intoxicated, eating mini weiners and assorted cheeses, dancing around maniacally, and then setting off left over fireworks from the Fourth of July. I'm not a normal high school senior. Instead of going out and partying, I hung out with a few close friends and my family at my place, but I'd rather have it that way. After everybody left it was just my parents, my sister, Raye, her boyfriend, Jared, and me. I ended up stayed up until 5-ish this morning playing Sims, which I've become a little addicted to.

Today was a pretty normal day. I woke up, messed around on Facebook, played more Sims, filled my bathtub with pillows and hung out there awhile, then started this thing. And at one point, I needed to dry off my hands. I didn't want to choose between any of the four towels hanging up in my bathroom, so I used all of them so as to not hurt the feelings of any of the others. (yeah, yeah, I know...)

Tomorrow should be interesting. I have plans to drive to the next town over to go to the park with someone who understands my randomoscity, so I should be posting more tomorrow with an update. :)